The ongoing opiod epidemic has finally pushed me into beginning a blog about being the mother of a recovering addict. The crazy thing is, I don’t know where to start!
With the sadness I feel each time I read or hear someone say that addiction is a choice and the person just needs to stop? Or when I see a comment about giving a human being, who has overdosed on heroin, narcon and the statement is to let the addict die.
Do I start with the fire where Ash lost the wonderful man she hoped to marry to carbon monoxide poisoning, knowing he tried to save her? How she had third degree burns over 35% of her body, skin grafts took another 35%, and the pain is something none of us could imagine. The drugs she was given, including the highly addictive fentanyl, over the course of time were the only way to alleviate some of the pain. How her pain management team and doctors at UVA worked on managing her pain at the same time wanting to wean her off the powerful drugs?
Do I write about all she, and we as a family, have gone through? Would anyone who understood addiction and that every single person out there has a story, could you really not want to find a cure as we would for any other disease?
Would it be about our perspective on how she sees her life and how she hopes each day finds her healthier and able to help others through addiction counseling? Using her experiences to guide others in finding an addiction free life while at the same time knowing it can reappear at any time and throw one back into a dark, dark place?
How I could never stop loving and believing in my daughter no matter what? How the support and love from family and friends is what gives me strength each day.
The blog I am hoping to begin is not for any kind of sympathy as there is so much I am thankful for each day. It is more to put a face, one you all know, to what this disease is like and why it cannot be dismissed. It is to reach out to any of you who are coping with this, sometimes barely, and need a safe place to be heard. To share some of the resources I have found hoping that they may help others.
I love my recovering addict. She is joy, she is beautiful, she is smart, and she did not ever want to be an addict.
But where do I even start?